December 2009
Time to get ready, buy booze and fags.
Picture unrelated…
Last day of 2009
Have I liked the year?
Well I nearly died around this time last year. I suffered through many periods of heavy depression. My mam kicked me out the house.
But there have also been some great points. I made some brilliant friendships, achieved many things on my to do list.
I have also came to accept myself, grudgingly but I am there I think.
So happy new year tumblr. My best wishes to you all...
Uni soon
I feel like I want to cry. They made the “Uni experience” sound so good last year as well…
Picture unrelated...
Because, I mean, it’s a guy who is going crazy or something…
It doesn’t matter how you feel when you play Beethovens Moonlight Sonata, you can listen to it with all sorts of emotions and thoughts running through your head and it makes things feel a little better for 6 minutes and 5 seconds.
Pokerface
It’s time to start the masquerade again.
I think I’m just grouchy, I need a cigarette.
New Years Eve
I wish I had a clue what was happening. Unfortunately people are dicks and cancel plans that you have came to rely upon. Grrr.
My blog didn't publish
So I shall leave you with this polar bear.
I'm not angry now
As I have realised that all that my family said about my weight is nothing too get pissed off about.
That is pretty much what was bothering me. Overreaction much?
Bigger post coming up when I’ve had a cigarette.
Police
If I get into shape, I might join them.
Anger
I can feel an uncontrollable rage building inside of me. The best way to describe what is happening is to refer to the Simpsons episode where Homer tries to give up anger and every time something annoying happens to him he suppresses his anger untill he explodes at the end.
Well that his how I feel. Alot of things have built up and snowballed into a seething anger that makes me want to slash my...
Reblog if you don't think your pretty/good...
samslack:
stripedzebra:
likespancakes:littlemissfox:ashtrayheartedgirl:(via kissedbylightning)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
legbeforewicket:
lickystickypickyme:
The movie does not entirely do Roald Dahl’s book justice. The chocolate fountain and other situations do not remotely look like what I read and had in my mind.
Still this is one of my favorite movies.
Hollywood will never have anything working for them so powerful as a child’s imagination.
I’m not sure which one you mean. I must tell you though...
An 'I' to a 'we'
hiheather:
I hate it when people in a relationship always bring their partners in to conversation. Exampled include:
Hello, how are you?
I’m okay now I’ve seen *insert name here*
What you up to tonight?
We’re going out to the cinema
And even worse, the people that say hello JUST so they can bitch about how shite it is that they don’t see their other half ALL of the time. You have your own...
Meh
I feel like throwing my laptop against the wall and crawling into bed. You need to calm down Rawson. Perhaps a cigarette is in order. Stressed and angry. Probally tiredness bringing this on.
Tommorrow I am seeing everyone
This pleases me. Some of them I havn’t seen in months and months.
Actually I think I shall go into more depth. Some of them I dislike a little. It’s only natural. If everyone was universally loved there would be no war and such and such.
However I do genuinely seem to be liked by most people I know and I suppose the reason is, I am a good person. I’m believing it more and more...
I am who I am
jadelikeswords:
jrawson:
Today I felt loved. I don’t know whether it was the sexy as fuck hug I got off Sam or seeing people who I havn’t seen a while greeting me with a big smile but it’s a nice feeling.
I like who I am. There are things I would like to change but who doesn’t want that? I like being the person that people trust with theie deepest secrets. I don’t even ask, they just tell me....
I am who I am
Today I felt loved. I don’t know whether it was the sexy as fuck hug I got off Sam or seeing people who I havn’t seen a while greeting me with a big smile but it’s a nice feeling.
I like who I am. There are things I would like to change but who doesn’t want that? I like being the person that people trust with theie deepest secrets. I don’t even ask, they just tell...
Mario
Every day during my break between lectures. I came so close to finally beating it today only to lose my last life right at the end. It caused me some anger but not as much as I was feeling last night. I raged last night rather badly, as my prievious blog shows. I’m feeling better today though, despite Bowser getting away with Princess Peach
Virgin
is a dirty word.
Fuck you all you liars who say it is nothing to be ashamed of. The majority of people who say that are those who regret not losing it in a good situation. Put it this way, you have had the choice.
Me? I have not had the choice. Not one girl has ever thought about me in that way and the longer it goes the more I doubt they ever will.
Do you know what it feels like to have not...
Friends
I’ve made it practically all the way to Christmas without making any at Uni. Oh well.
Nightmares
Are they still nightmares if they are not particually frightening, just sad?
I keep having them. I’ve counted about five in the past week. They tend to be about the same sort of stuff which I am not willing to share even on Tumblr.
Why do we even have nightmares anyways? I don’t see what purpose they serve. The myth about cheese causing them isn’t true because these have...
New Years Resolutions
Get a job
Try my uttermost to help people
Try and improve things on the relationship front (try harder Rawson)
Lose ALOT of weight so I don’t disgust people
Perhaps try some reapproachment tactics with my mother?
Never skip Uni unless it is absolutely neccessary
Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling
I will Journey, I will.
It’s all I have
Emotions are funny
I love how crazy they go can go :|
Are you scared of falling in love?
I was asked this question on a myspace quiz (RETRO!). Yes. I am terrified.
Being in love is like giving a person a certain part of you. You can’t help it, they didn’t ask for it, yet with it they have complete control over you.
They are literally inside you, messing your feelings about, causing your hormones to go wild, suddenly popping into your head at the most random of times. And...
Turn off all your lights...
…and bask in the glow of your computer. Then, put some heavy synth music from the 80’s, New Wave is the best but any will do.
It feels good man, it really does.
I’m a man behind the times…
Ugh
I feel like cutting myself again. I need a fag. I need to be brave for my friends. I need a shower. I need my dad to come home from London so he can take me to tesco. I need a shave. I need her.
I need to stop moaning and man the fuck up.
I feel like crying
I have just woke up. I want to go back to bed.
I prefer the dreamworld to reality, sometimes it really delivers. Case in point, I once had a dream where I had a good paying job, I was muscley and not fat, my friends were all happy, I had a beutiful girlfriend and my dad was telling how proud he was to have me as a son.
That particualr bubble was burst by my dad storming into my room and yelling...
Happy birthday Heather.
I have now wished her a happy birthday through most the mediums available to me, all thats left is the phone, MSN and myspace. I think i’ll calm it down though.
Now that that’s out the way here comes the required desppressive bit that most tumblr blogs have.
I’m feeling rather lonely and fed up today. I think it’s the fact I’m ill that has brought this on. However,...